Rapist to victim: will you marry me?

By Shoma Chaudhury

Dilution or outright waiver of punishment if a rapist offers to marry his victim is an extra-legal step, one that is not written into law anywhere. But it continues to be entertained because the internalisation of stigmatisation is wide-spread, and even the victims believe it.

In 1991, Bollywood churned out two films that wove their stories around rape victims. The first was Benaam Badshah (1991); starring Juhi Chawla and Anil Kapoor, the film unfolded the story of a pretty young girl in a Mumbai chawl, who is raped by the male lead actor (somehow, the word 'hero' is difficult to use with 'raped'). The victim takes on a determined, if bizarre crusade to get this rapist to marry her. The other film Tejaswini, a Hindi remake of a southern hit, dealt with the struggles of a lady police officer who has to constantly fight against the anti-socials of her area funded by a minister. At the centre of the narrative is her crusade to see that the politician's son is forced to marry a girl he raped. Thankfully, Benaam Badshah sank at the box office without a trace. Not so Tejaswini, which was a thumping box office hit in the southern states.

Fifteen years later, the story of the rapist going scot-free by marrying his victim transcended the celluloid world to step into the ugly reality of life. In 2005, in Charthawal village, Muzaffarnagar district, Uttar Pradesh, Imrana, wife of Noor Elahi, was being forced to separate from her husband and marry Ali Mohammad, her father-in-law, who had raped her. The decision was supported by the local panchayat, which declared her existing marriage null and void. She was commanded to observe a period of seven months to 'purify' herself and then marry Ali Mohammed.

Imrana proved a woman of some courage. With her husband's support, the intervention of the National Commission of Women and other leading women's organisations, and an uprising within the media, she thwarted those who wished to railroad her into further victimhood beyond the rape itself. Recording her statement before the chief judicial magistrate in Muzaffarnagar in Uttar Pradesh on 20 June 2005, Imrana told reporters that she was ready to defy the community panchayat. "I will continue to live with my husband despite the fact that the panchayat has declared that my marriage has been nullified after the rape. My husband supports me and I am ready to defy the panchayat," she said. In August that year, the Indian Supreme Court ordered the Darul-ul-Uloom of Deoband and the All India Muslim Personal Law Board (AIMPLB) the two pillars of Islamic bodies in India, to reply to a petition filed against them. The petition charged these organisations with interfering with the country's legal system and introducing parallel Islamic laws in violation of the Constitution.

Questioning the unilateral, feudal and fascistic approach of the 'community panchayat' in the Imrana case, in a press statement (June 20, 2005), several leading women's organisations said: "How can a system exist parallel to political and executive bodies constituted by the state, manned (they appear to be run exclusively by men) by persons who are ignorant and insensitive and whose judgements are irrational and inhuman? How can their authority supersede that of the state?"

The State however, is party to the same unilateral game. In 2002, the Delhi High Court quashed the rape case against one Manoj Kumar after the victim submitted an affidavit saying that she was willing to marry him. Even when the victim refuses to marry the rapist, as in the case involving the rape of a 23-year-old Delhi nurse of Shanti Mukand Hospital, rapists can resort to this tactic. In this instance, the victim was raped, her right eye was gouged out, and her left eye was badly wounded by a ward boy on September 07, 2003. As she waited in court for the judge to pronounce punishment, in an application to the court, the rapist Bhura proposed marriage to her. His argument was that since no one would be prepared to marry her due to the social stigma, he would like to do so. She turned down the proposal as bogus, horrible and audacious. "He made it sound like a favour. This was more shocking than the proposal itself. The most horrible thing in the whole business was the court having admitted such an application," said the victim. In the end, justice prevailed, and Bhura was awarded life imprisonment.

In other cases, however, rape victims themselves appear to tolerate offers of marriage by rapists. Why? Dr. Manjeet Bhatia, of Womens' Studies and Development Centre, Delhi University, thinks this is just an extension of social attitudes towards the crime itself. "The internalisation of being stigmatised for life is so deeply ingrained in the victim that she actually believes that marrying her rapist is the only way out," Bhatia says. And so the practice continues. Dr. Rajat Mitra, psychologist and director, Swarnchetan, an NGO that counsels victims of such crimes, says it cautions rape victims against marrying their attackers, telling them that such marriages are disastrous and are marked by further violence. But not every victim is willing to heed this advice. "When we tell people, for example, her family members, that she cannot live with somebody who has caused her such trauma, they brush it aside saying that the girl would get over it," says Mitra.

Clearly, dilution or outright waiver of punishment if the assaulter offers marriage is an extra-legal step, one that is not written into law anywhere. Nonetheless the legal community appears to be willing to overlook this. Arati Mundkur, of Alternative Law Forum, says, "With regard to rapists marrying their victims, there is no rule or law on this point. This is a personal perception, unfortunately adopted by the judiciary as evinced in the recent Shanti Mukand rape case. The quantum of punishment should in no case be influenced by an offer from the rapist to marry the complainant. In a number of workshops we have conducted across districts in Karnataka, the idea among lawyers and among women is that if the rapist wants to marry the woman raped by him, no FIR/complaint should be filed. This offer to marry her is itself considered atonement."

Ranjita Biswas, journalist, says, "When a rapist offers to marry his victim there is purportedly, a sigh of relief. What a perfect solution! The woman is socially rehabilitated and the rapist is forgiven. After all, he has agreed to marry her, hasn't he? Sadly, even lawyers sometimes consider this not such a bad idea and choose to defer judgement waiting for a 'response' from the victim. But how can the courts entertain such a preposterous proposition in the first place? This is victimisation of the victim all over again. She has already been wronged. The wrongdoer, on the other hand, neatly escapes the consequences of his heinous act."

Why Pooja got 'mad'?

By Aeman Nishat

Behind the entire media cacophony over Pooja Chauhan is a real story and a real person. The story is a familiar one. Of women, thousands of them, who are harassed over dowry or over the gender of the child they birth, particularly if she turns out to be a girl.

The Pooja Chauhan story has now become familiar to most people in India with access to the media — print or electronic. Virtually all newspapers flashed the photograph of this 22-year-old woman, walking in her underwear, in 'conservative' Rajkot city in Gujarat. She carried a baseball bat in one hand and bangles in the other. Her destination was the office of the Commissioner of Police. She walked for one hour. On the way, people gawked at her. Some laughed. The photographs showed men riding by on scooters, craning their necks to get a better look, laughing at her. No one, it seemed, stopped her, or tried to find out why she was doing what she was doing.

For the media, this was a great story. When they finally did speak to her, Pooja told them that she had decided to resort to this form of protest because she was fed up with the police not taking her complaints about harassment and violence seriously. She said she was being nagged by her husband’s family to bring more dowry and that they made her life even more difficult because she gave birth to a girl child. She accused her parents-in-law of getting a neighbour to beat her up. A week before this incident, Pooja had allegedly tried to immolate herself in front of the police commissioner’s office.

Media cacophony
What a story! All the elements of a Hindi movie. Yet, although the first stories did report the reasons that provoked Pooja to act in this manner, later reports took a different turn. Pooja's parents were accosted by the local media and asked whether their daughter was sane. "Is she mad?" they apparently asked. Others reported that the story was complicated, that her husband’s family had also registered complaints against Pooja. It was also reported that the girl did not live with her husband anymore and was on her own, with her infant daughter.

Behind this entire media cacophony is a real story and a real person. The story is a familiar one. Of women, thousands of them even if you go by official statistics, who are harassed over dowry or over the gender of the child they birth, particularly if she turns out to be a girl. Pooja survived such harassment. Thousands of women each year do not. At a time when India boasts of becoming an international economic giant, its women are being pushed to the brink for dowry, the giving and taking of which was banned in 1961 and is against the law. They also continue to be blamed for producing female children, something over which they can have no control. Yes, this is the same country where we celebrate a woman of Indian descent having been on a space mission — even if she is an American.

At the time of writing, Pooja was in a shelter. Although the court had ruled, after a network of women's groups working on issues of violence against women filed a case under the Domestic Violence Act on her behalf, that she was entitled to continue staying in the rented house where she had taken shelter to get away from her abusive marital home, she found she could not in fact go back there as the landlord refused to accept her as a tenant. To prevent her from facing further violence, these women's groups got together and arranged temporary shelter for her. They were moving her to a government-recognised women's shelter so that she would be free to meet people, including members of the National Commission on Women.

In some ways, Pooja is lucky. Despite extreme provocation, she is still alive. Her parents have been supportive. As a result, she was able to move out of her husband’s house and into independent rented accommodation. Her strategy of doing something outrageous did work. It got her the attention she desperately sought. Perhaps some positive conclusion will arise from this. And hopefully she will survive the negative side of media attention, that which has spawned blogs where men blow off steam about women who are allegedly misusing anti-violence laws, and the repeated use of her photograph on many sites. One hopes she will not be too badly affected by the unsubtle hints in media reports that she was “mad” and slightly unbalanced for having resorted to what is popularly being called “a semi-nude protest”.

Missing the point
The point that the media has missed completely is that the issue they ought to investigate more thoroughly is not the state of Pooja’s mental health, but what her protest represents. They should remember the naked protest by middle-aged women in Manipur against the Armed Forces Special Powers Act. Because it took place in distant Manipur, which only springs into the news when something affecting hundreds of people occurs, the actual protest went largely unreported. There were no TV cameras to telecast that image, or to talk to the women, or to ask others whether they were collectively 'mad'. They surely were. Not insane, but mad and angry at a system that refuses to hear the voices of ordinary people, or ordinary women.

Pooja is also mad at the system. Her protest symbolises that. Regardless of the specific details of her story, her protest reminds us again that dowry is alive and flourishing and that women face as much danger to their lives within their homes as they do out in the public space.

Women join hands for a better media

By Meenakshi Sahu

In an increasingly market-driven media climate, a network that nurtures value-driven journalism among women has proved to be a lifeline for professionals who believe that there's more to the media than news brands. HNN reports.

The Seventh National Conference of the Network of Women in Media - India (NWMI) had just ended in Vishakhapatnam. A young journalist from Mumbai was asked how she had liked her first NWMI meet. "My colleagues in Mumbai say I'm too idealistic because I want to write about rural child education for my newspaper. After this conference I know that there is scope for my kind of journalism," she said, smiling brightly.

This 23-year-old is not the only journalist who's been energised by the NWMI to follow her chosen path. Many women journalists have found their voice - individually and collectively - and many 'kinds of journalism' have got a boost since the NWMI came into being in 2002. In a few years, this collective seems to have facilitated a positive media movement across the country. And it has greatly strengthened the way its members - women media professionals from diverse backgrounds - view themselves and their work.

Despite great diversity in their backgrounds and jobs, NWMI members vouch for the effects that 'a sense of belonging to a community' has had on their work. The network has created a unique space where women journalists meet, online or at local and national meetings, to discuss issues specific to women and the media. Information about opportunities - professional and research oriented - is posted, contacts and friendships are forged.

Not everyone agrees with everyone else on everything, but the door to learning is always open because listening is as important as speaking, if not more, at national and local meetings of the NWMI. While consensus usually emerges on issues at the nucleus of the network, diverse opinions are respected. Besides the exchange of ideas, the network supports an in informal system of mentoring that should have been available at the workplace but, for various reasons, is not.

An NWMI member since its inception, Laxmi Murthy (Associate Editor, Himal Southasian), says journalism, "by its very nature, can be rather isolating, especially for women, who do not belong in the 'old boys club' and hang out at the Press Club. The NWMI provides a platform (at the local and national level) to move beyond isolation - professional as well as personal. Freelancers working out of home, as well as women in a male-dominated media house, seek out like-minded peers - and that is what NWMI is all about."

Susheela Nair, Bangalore based freelance photographer and travel writer, affirms. "I've bonded with more women journalists after joining the Network. As freelancers we tend to work in isolation. We started going to the press club for meetings only because of the network. So much learning happens through the network and we get to know about many opportunities."

Senior journalist and columnist, Kalpana Sharma, who's well known to readers of India Together, says a network like this can improve the quality of work going around "as it gives journalists access to other perspectives, resources and mentors. Ordinarily, these should be available at the workplace. But increasingly, in the highly competitive environment in which we work, there is little cooperation and most journalists have to fend for themselves."

Speaking of issues specific to women in the media, Sharma says, "Problems ... vary greatly depending on the media. For instance, in English print media, women have done well although there is still a glass ceiling at the very top. There are also issues of sexual harassment but on the whole, compared to a couple of decades ago, women face fewer problems. The situation in the Indian language press is different. Here, women have to fight for fair wages, for the right to cover different beats and face some of the same problems as women in the English press. Television journalists have greater opportunities but there have been sporadic reports about sexual harassment."

The background
While researching her book Making News: Women in Journalism, Ammu Joseph, a founder member of the NWMI and also a long-time regular on India Together, met and spoke to over 200 women journalists across languages and locations. There seemed to be a need for a common platform to discuss problems specific to women in the media. To debate on these problems and a possible network, regional workshops were held in Bangalore, Shillong and Jaipur. Women journalists from several towns and cities as also English and other language newspapers, were involved in the network building process, through these workshops.

"... The workshops obviously addressed a felt need. I had scheduled discussions on whether or not there was a need for a national network on the last day of the meeting but in all three regional workshops, participants articulated the need on the very first day!" recalls Joseph. "The workshops went well because they were designed to generate conversations among equals… Each session addressed certain key questions and everyone got an opportunity to share their experiences, thoughts and opinions. This really helped create a sense of collective ownership right from the beginning."

The regional workshops led to the first national meet in Delhi, where the NWMI was born amidst clamorous debates on its name, structure, charter, etc. While some felt that it should be a formal network with office bearers, etc. others favoured "a more egalitarian, collective approach." The rationale behind the latter possibly "emerged from the ideas and ideals of feminism, which questioned structures based on hierarchies of various kinds," says Joseph. The decision taken favoured an informal, hierarchy-free structure, "where responsibility and accountability could be shared and decision-making be based on consensus." "This is not always the most efficient form of organisation but I personally think the benefits outweigh the deficits," she opines.

Laxmi Murthy points out that "the Network does not seek to replace unions," but seeks to complement them. "For instance, the Pune group works closely with the Pune Patrakar Sangh and also has a room in the union office. Working with unions, especially plant unions which tend to be male-dominated is not easy, and women, especially young women, can hardly ever make a breakthrough. Yet, it is crucial to…try to make dents in the overall chauvinism and pressurize unions to take up issues specifically relevant to women journalists (maternity leave, separate toilets, crèches, night-drops, sexual harassment at the workplace etc). But this is…very exhausting! It is for this reason that women, who are also members of the union, find the informal NWMI style of functioning much more conducive to participation".

The collective gains
Ammu Joseph thinks that the greatest gain from a network "is the sense of collective ownership." Though "a few people do have to put in that extra effort (in the background, with not too many members really aware of the individual contribution of considerable time and energy towards the collective endeavour) to get and keep things going. And there are naturally some who enjoy the benefits accruing from the network without giving much in return -- even in terms of regular communication. But I think it's remarkable that so many do take initiative, take on responsibility, etc., on a purely voluntary basis. And I think that's evidence of the feeling that this is something that belongs to everyone, which everyone can help shape and strengthen."

"It's ... wonderful to belong to a supportive community of professional media women - to be able to discuss issues, to be on a similar wavelength, to be outraged by the same events, be able to laugh about the same things (that's vital!)," says Murthy, adding, "Professionally, it's good to be in touch with what's happening, with regard to gender and media. As an editor, I have been able to get in touch with a wide variety of writers through the network. The NWMI is also a unique collaborative space, in a highly competitive field."

Independent journalist, Anjulika Thingnam from Manipur was in the middle of a serious personal and professional crisis when she heard about the NWMI. She came to the 5th national meet in Bangalore, "searching for myself in the midst of all the women there. And I found it in NWMI," she says. Meeting a mixed crowd of journalists from urban and rural areas and interacting with senior members left her feeling, "so energised… My self-esteem was healed". Contacts made and the frequent news and information got through the e-group helped her "be in touch with a larger support group".

"In my opinion, women journalists ... in a small place like Manipur, under the burden of patriarchy, with little knowledge and awareness of the world outside us, need such a support group. In January 2007, I managed to get four of us organised into a small local group," says Thingnam. The Manipur network has offered to host the next national meet "to inspire local women journalists to join the network and come forward without fear." She sees it as a "good opportunity to highlight some of the issues that women, women journalists and the people of Manipur are grappling with everyday - issues of patriarchy, development, conflict, identity ..."

A development media professional and member of NWMI's Bangalore chapter, Shamanathaka Mani says she joined the network as she thought it would help her professionally. "I had expected too much from our group both at the professional and emotional level, but our group is, I think, more heterogeneous than homogeneous." The process of planning activities at the local level is complicated by the presence of "too many decision makers," according to her.

Many others count diversity as the strength of the network, however. Each of the annual meets that has followed the one in Delhi, "... has provided a glimpse of the 'unity in diversity' that characterises the network" opines Ammu Joseph. "Each host network has put its own stamp on the event in terms of collaborations, fund-raising, content, etc. So each meeting has had a slightly different flavour but every one of them has been exciting, stimulating and fulfilling to almost all the participants. Similarly, e-group discussions often reflect divergent opinions on various issues but there has been amazing consensus on vital matters to do with the media, including those to do with gender."

Vidhulata, Editor of monthly magazine Aurath says, "From the day I joined NWMI, my confidence has increased. Being a Hindi journalist, I do have some communication problems but I am sure this can be overcome. I am going to hold a one-day workshop for senior journalists in May or June this year Bhopal so that more women journalists from MP can join the NWMI."

During national meetings, the language barrier is bridged by continual translation, done by members who know the languages concerned. A group of rural journalists from Chittoor district in Andhra Pradesh are conversant only with Telugu. They have been an inspiration to the rest of the network and the subject of many newspaper stories across several languages after each network meeting they've attended. Mostly from marginalised communities, these women handle all aspects of the production and distribution of a magazine, Navodayam. They conduct surveys and report on crime and child marriages. "Ever since we became part of the NWMI, our motivation to do better stories for our magazine has become stronger. We understand the importance of educating our girl children" says Bharathi, from the Navodayam group.

Senior columnist and writer, Sakuntala Narasimhan, says, "Such a collective ... gives women journalists' viewpoints (on sexist reporting, for instance) a stronger voice while protesting sexism in reporting. I got to know about the World Summit at Johannesburg in 2002, through the local network. I was chosen as one of the 4 journalists from India to be sponsored for covering the three-week summit. I filed 9 stories, and it was a great experience gathering so much information on a variety of subjects for use in my columns, interviewing global leaders etc."

Laxmi Murthy points out, "The Network has regularly raised the issue of press freedom and freedom of expression and issued statements. Local chapters have organized activities around the issue - be it the Official Secrets Act, attacks on journalists or writers. The point is ... to give voice in the public domain, to protest against gender-insensitive, casteist, communal activities/statements."

In an increasingly market-driven media climate, the NWMI supports value-driven, gender-balanced journalism. It has proved to be a lifeline for journalists who believe that there's more to the media than news brands.

FAQs of Women of India

By HNN Research Desk

The status of women in India has been subject to many great changes over the past few millennia. From a largely unknown status in ancient times through the low points of the medieval period, to the promotion of equal rights by many reformers, the history of women in India has been eventful.

What are some of the problems facing the women in India?
The problems Indian women face are same as those faced by their counterparts in other nations. Additionally, there are some unique problems in India for women.
The Dowry system prevalent in India calls for a large sum of money to be paid to the groom at the time of marriage. Brides that cannot meet the husband's expectations are sometimes harassed after the wedding.

Desire for male progeny has caused natural imbalance and numerous problems for women.

Unwanted touching of women in public places -- this problem is known as Eve teasing in India.

Unequal share of inheritance -- in most Hindu families, only the sons inherit the wealth of the parents as married girls are considered no longer part of the family.
Lack of public toilets --this is more of a hygiene problem of India, but making even more difficult for women to get out of the house.

Ill treatment of widows -- many families blame the untimely death of a husband to the misfortune of the woman. In extreme cases, the widow is made to wear only unattractive clothing and shave her head, although this practice is on the decline.

Why do Indian women wear the dot on the forehead?
Traditionally the dot (known as bindi, kum-kum) was the symbol of an auspicious privilege enjoyed by married Hindu women in India. The practice has now evolved to cover young girls and women of other faiths as well and has become part of the make-up.

What is the status of women in Indian society?
The answer is a complex one -- women are both abused as well as revered in the Indian society; sometimes within the same household.

The Hindu religion calls for worship of the womanhood, and several rituals are conducted in honor of women. At the same time, it denied such privileges as performing the last rites and equal share of inheritance.

The conditions of divorced women, widows, and unmarried working women need substantial improvement.

What is Burning of Brides? Does this really happen?
In the 1980s numerous cases of newly married brides mysteriously dying in kitchen-stove explosions came to light in India. The deaths were found to be related to the dowry system when the bride is expected to bring a lot of money to the husband. The burnings consisted both of suicides and murders.

In ancient and medieval India, there was the tradition of wives committing suicide upon the death of their husbands, known as the Sati or the Sahagamana (co-departure). The women decorated themselves in their bridal attire before immolating themselves.

The dowry system is a deeply rooted problem in India and sometimes substitutes the inheritance the woman will receive from her parents. Officially, both the Dowry and Sati systems are banned, but one hears about the dowry deaths often in Indian newspapers.

The last known instance of Sati took place in 1987.

Do Men Cook in India?
Even though traditional household work is performed by women, interestingly, a large number of men cook/can cook in India. Men are called upon to prepare festive meals, especially during religious occasions. The most famous of the Indian cooks is Nala - a man.

A large number of Indian males grow up away from their mothers (due to poverty, purposes of education) and have learnt basic cooking due to necessity. Professional cooks in restaurants and eateries are invariably men.

Is it true that men in India do not know the woman till they marry her?
Oh dear. That is true in every country
Joke apart, it is true that many men and women go in for arranged marriages in India and have very little knowledge about the person they are about to wed.

I've heard that many women in India are virgins until they are married. Is that true?
Indian culture attaches great importance to purity and virtue of men and women. Many people who follow this doctrine typically have not had sexual experience till they are married.

How do the women in India spend their time?
Indian women spend time with the family members -- mostly other female relatives. The educated women have friends they have made in school or work. (Contrary to perception, a large percent of women in India work)

Indian women also spend time with chores, raising children, watching movies, and caring for community.

Why do Indian Hindu women go in seclusion during their menstrual cycle? Is it still relevant in the modern era?
Some experts believe that it was the mechanism of relieving the women of daily chores and physical activities (of duties of joint-family) and allow for private time during their menstrual cycles.

Women during their periods were also considered unhygienic or dirty and that's probably the reason they were excluded. This is the same reason many women prefer not to visit sacred places during their cycle.

Although waning, this custom of "sitting out" is still practiced in some parts of India among traditional families. However, this practice is not relevant in the modern era.

What was the role of women in India's freedom struggle?
The role of women during decades of India's freedom struggle was very big, thanks to the vision and encouragement of Gandhi. See the article Gandhi and Women for examples of how women got included in the India's nationalistic agenda from the beginning.

Many women leaders emerged, and even many more engaged in social service, social reform, and improved the life of women in India.

Unmarried Women Gear up for Parenthood

By M H Ahssan

Despite the traditionally low social status of the women in India, and the bad treatment given to them, times have changed for the better. Indian women in the 21st century are career orientated, happy and are remaining single - all by choice. Gone are the days when women spoke only with their eyes and their bowed heads. They have decided to re-write the rules of the fairly conservative Indian society.

Indian women have now taken a step further, and are enjoying the satisfaction of becoming mothers (something that makes any woman “complete”), even though many of them remain single. Skipping the ‘attachment’ of marriage and men, they are opting to become single parents – by adopting a child.

Single women celebrities like Raveena Tandon and Sushmita Sen have publicly adopted children. Questions, however, in the minds of many are:

- Why have single women opted for adoption?
- What motivates them into accepting the responsibility of a child – especially a female child?

When Sushmita Sen, ex-Ms Universe (1994), was asked about her adopted daughter, Renee, she said that she had wanted to adopt a child ever since she was 18. “As Femina Miss India, I saw so many poor children and from so close, that I wanted to adopt a girl child. It took me years to get one,” she has said. She received a call from an institution in Mumbai that had a pattern of allowing people who are single, to adopt children. The sixth baby that they introduced to Sushmita was sick and not a healthy child. This, coincidently, was the child Sushmita chose to adopt. Sushmita says that single motherhood has been “very beautiful”. She has changed her habits, so that they would not influence the child as she grows up. She has learnt that Renee is her responsibility and she would have to take good care of her.

Raveena Tandon, another celebrity, had adopted two children some ten years ago. When asked how it felt like to be a mother, she replied saying, “It's just wonderful. It's the greatest feeling in the world. And I strongly believe and advocate adoption. I think instead of spending money, injecting someone else's embryo, etc., why not take care of a life that is already alive? As it is the country is so over-populated. If there's a soul already breathing on this planet and crying out for help, why do we need artificial insemination?”

Reema Gupta, 38 and a financial consultant says that she did not get married out of choice. Earlier in her life, she was very focused on just her career and did not want any kind of distractions. She did not even give marriage a thought. Now, being financially settled, she would like to make the most of her earnings for a good cause, and have a sense of satisfaction for having done something for the society. Well, what better way than to adopt a child?

Saini Singh, a lecturer, has decided to adopt an orphan girl-child. Initially, her family was against the idea, but later, they agreed to it. She says that she would definitely adopt a female child because she still believes that women in the Indian society do not enjoy, and are not yet given the true status and respect that they deserve. “This decision of mine would give me the satisfaction of having done something for women in a small way during my lifetime”.

Men, such as Prateek Rastogi, a 24-year-old graduate in Computer Science Engineering and a “Bombayite” in nature, support the concept of a single parent, as long as the child is adopted. “Infact,” he says, “I would place the lady at a higher level”.

Despite the popularity of such a bold concept, there are people who say that the adopted child would never be brought up the same way other children around them would have, just because a single parent does not make a complete family. This, in my opinion, would only be true to some extent. However, a single parent would be able to devote more of his or her time towards the child. His or her priorities would be completely different. The most common argument of a non-believer is that a single woman would never do justice to the child because of the social dishonor attached to unwed mothers. They are thought of as the “bottom of the barrel”.

What I think is the reason that discourages un-wed women to adopt children in this present day and age, is the fear of who would take care of the child in the incident of her death.

The whole concept of a family is undergoing a massive change, but whether it is the beginning of a revolution or not, is still a question that has yet to be answered. This, however, shows that the social status of women in India has improved, and that the Indian society has begun to accept women as individuals, and not just mere pieces of decoration. Nevertheless, the good news is that the Indian law is in the favor of single parent adoption.

We, as educated human beings – educated Indians, rather – should take a stand, allow and encourage these kind of gradual changes in our society. That is the only way that we will be able to truly enhance the image of the women in our country. That is when they will really be worshiped for being the “second half”, or the Ardhangani of a man.

Woes of working women

By Arashi Al Ahmed

Professional success is a goal for both men and women, but for the latter it takes on a different aspect, especially if they are married and have children and duties of a housewife to attend to. Some say that success in both these sides of life is impossible and call for the return of working women to the household. Some women have, however, managed to find a balance between their home and working lives, and here they explain how they have achieved it.

Dr. Samiya Al-Amoudi of King Abdulaziz University says that despite her pressing professional duties, she manages to give her full attention to the needs of her children. “Ive found a balance by structuring my priorities, so that I can attend to all my responsibilities and commitments. If, for example, my children are sick, then my priority is to make time and coordinate, and this is an important factor in finding a balance between work and home.”

“The support and help from my family has had a great influence on my success,” Al-Amoudi continues. “And since I am a doctor and an activist in the fight against breast cancer I try to involve my children in my activities, and this helps them realize that they are part of my success, as without their considerable help and their standing by me I wouldnt have been able to get where I am.”

Balancing sacrifices
The supervision of childrens upbringing is, according to Al-Amoudi, a tough task. “The working woman faces a lot of difficulties,” she says. “She has to make a lot of sacrifices involving personal and social concessions for the sake of her family and children. You wont find a successful working woman who is also a successful mother to her children without her having made concessions of some sort in her social life.”

Muna Abu Soleiman is famous for her work in the media, notably as a presenter of a popular chat show on MBC satellite channel. “I think Ive achieved a degree of success in finding the balance between work and bringing up my daughters,” Soleiman says. “When they were young I chose to teach at university as it allowed me to give them the sort of care they needed at the time, and when they got older and were able to depend on themselves more I was able to give my work more of my attention and make great strides, all of which reflects on both me and my daughters.”

“You need to be very careful as a working woman with young children, as it is an extremely important juncture in their upbringing and there can be a heavy price to pay if you are not there for them.” Soleiman says, “So you need to find work that doesnt make too many demands on your time or your energy which are needed at home.

“Most girls these days,” Soleiman continues, “have university degrees or higher and so wont be working in relatively simple jobs such as sewing. Todays girls have been through higher education and speak different languages all of which qualifies them for work in very demanding areas. It remains for everyone to find some sort of flexibility over the issue and to help everyone achieve success and happiness.”

Nojoud Al-Ghamdi, who works for a public relations firm, is optimistic that that is happening. “The situation for Saudi women has improved a lot recently,” Al-Ghamdi says, “and weve overcome a lot of the barriers erected by society, and Im referring to university education and beyond, and learning foreign languages which is a requirement for the job market,” she says. “And of course no girl will accept a post that doesnt correspond to the qualifications she has worked so hard to acquire.”

“A quick overview of working Saudi women today shows that they are able to accomplish achievements both at work and at home, and the long hours spent at the office working hard have enabled them to reach a high level of standing, but personally if I had to choose between work and home I would choose home, since this is every womans natural and innate place,” she says.

Guilty feelings
Broadcaster Maha Shalbi admits to having to make occasional readjustments. “A clever woman tries to harmonize with the fast rhythm of the times and reconcile her work with the demands of her husband and family in general, but to be honest I have to confess that sometimes I feel I have let my family down and that leaves me feeling guilty, especially when my husband has to hint that somethings amiss,” Shalbi says. “When that happens I reorganize myself and take stock and make sure that my priorities are not getting confused.”

“I try to make up for any time I spend at work with time for my son to play with him and see to his needs, to make sure that he never feels my absence,” she says.

“The wife is her husbands partner in all paths and aspects of life,” says Dr. Rana Al-Sabagh, an organ transplant coordinator with three children, “and professional success is not just for men. I try to concentrate on the quality, not the quantity, of the time I spend with my children. I also think my children need a role model and someone to look up to in addition to support, so that they can develop their strengths and learn to depend on themselves.”

Women are better than men
Amal Khalid, who works in marketing and public relations, says the myth that a working woman cannot lead a successful home life perpetuates a derogatory view of women in working society. “I dont wish to be biased, but women are better at work than men, but how are we to proceed when the job market is bossed by men? Most bosses welcome unmarried women into their businesses as they are dedicated to their work and are prepared to work long hours, but still they give men greater privileges as they see them as having more experience and ability. They think that women, however well they perform in their work, still only have a quarter of the competence of men. This is obviously untrue, and from my own personal experience I would say that women are more competent in their work, and show greater experience and motivation, even those who are also responsible for large families.”

Hana Al-Rukabi, a broadcaster, says that it is plain to everyone that women have succeeded in finding a balance between work and home and that it has also influenced people both socially and in their thinking. “Thats a strong indicator of the importance of the womans role in the family and her influence on peoples upbringings, as well as her desire to take part in the building of new generations,” Al-Rukabi says. “Women represent half of society, and are also responsible for bringing up the other half, and their success in balancing their home and work lives affects the productivity of society as a whole and the process of stability and development.”

“My husband has been a huge support for me,” she says, “and deserves great credit for my success and for me getting to where I am today. At the same time I look after my family and domestic affairs, because if I were a failure in my role as a mother and wife then I wouldnt be able to succeed in any other aspect of my life.”

Talal Al-Nashiri, a sociologist says: “Womens success and their role in society is no less than that of men, and they can be exceptional in some areas.”

The rights of working women are virtually ignored, she said, “but despite that they continue to work diligently and courageously to achieve successful home and working lives, assuming twice the burden. When women take on that double burden it has positive social and economic effects by increasing a womans standing and giving her a role as a mover and shaker in society.”

Women are not allowed to be employed in positions that involve hazardous work. They are also not permitted to work night shifts of longer than 11 hours. Employers are obliged to provide medical care for female employees during and after pregnancy as well as provide designated places of rest at work for all female employees.

India anxious over Tiger chief's fate

By Sudha Ramachandran

With military defeat imminent and sheer survival at stake, the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) has offered the Sri Lankan government a unilateral ceasefire in a desperate last-ditch attempt to maneuver its way out of a tight corner. The offer has been rejected by the government as a "joke", as it insisted it will respond only if the Tigers lay down their arms and surrender.

The government's rejection is not surprising. It has ignored pleas from the international community to put the ongoing war in the north on pause to enable tens of thousands of civilians trapped in the no-fire zone to escape.

As far as the government is concerned, the LTTE is on the brink of defeat and its chief Velupillai Prabhakaran is within the army's grasp. This is the man they have been hunting for the past three decades and they will not stop until they have him in the bag, dead or alive.

Sri Lankan army officials claim that the LTTE chief is restricted to a six-kilometer area and is hiding among civilians in the no-fire zone. They say he cannot escape by road as security is very tight.

So is the elusive Tiger chief's luck finally running out?

It does seem so. However, he does not appear to have thrown in the towel yet. He is reportedly planning an audacious escape out of Sri Lanka by submarine, according to LTTE media coordinator Daya Master, who surrendered to Sri Lankan forces last week. Prabhakaran's son, Charles Antony, Sea Tiger (the LTTE's naval unit) chief Soosai and the coordinating army head and intelligence chief Pottu Amman will escape with him.

But the submarine escape plan is unlikely to be easy to implement.

The Sri Lankan navy is keeping a tight vigil along the northeastern coast from Trincomalee harbor in the east to Kankesanthurai on the Jaffna Peninsula using high-speed patrol boats and radars that can apparently detect even the slightest movement in the seas. Besides, there is aerial reconnaissance too. Getting past this will be difficult for the LTTE top brass.

Then there is the question of Prabhakaran's health. The 54-year-old is believed to be leading his fighters in the ongoing battle against the Lankan forces. But he is hardly fighting fit. An insulin-dependent diabetic with a long-standing problem of hypertension and a host of other related complications, the Tiger chief is unlikely to survive the strain of an escape attempt by submarine.

In January, Sri Lanka army chief Sarath Fonseka said Prabhakaran might have already fled, perhaps to Southeast Asia. That triggered much speculation in the media of destinations that the LTTE chief might have escaped to. In recent weeks, army officials have said that Prabhakaran is very much on the island and in the thick of the battle.

It does seem that if Prabhakaran has not already escaped from Sri Lanka to take refuge in Malaysia, India or some other country with a large Tamil population, the Tiger chief's chances of roaming free are rather remote.

In its physical description of Prabhakaran, Interpol describes him in its website as "very alert, known to use disguise and capable of handling sophisticated weaponry and explosives". These skills have helped Prabhakaran elude the armed forces so far.

And luck too was on his side. Sri Lankan army officials admit that they missed capturing him "by a whisker" late last month.

Sri Lankan officials say that they are determined to capture Prabhakaran, dead or alive. Sinhalese nationalists and hardliners in the Sri Lankan establishment would love to see this happen. Prabhakaran in chains is a trophy that the Sri Lankan military and President Mahinda Rajapakse would want to flaunt. But it is likely that the armed forces will shoot him dead if they capture him alive. Apparently, sections in the government aren't keen to put him through "long-winding, messy judicial processes". They would simply like him "out of the way as soon as possible", says a retired Sri Lankan intelligence official.

Although rumors of Prabhakaran negotiating a surrender deal with the government have been making the rounds over the past fortnight, it is highly unlikely that he will give himself up. He has ordered the killing of Tamil leaders who have compromised on the cause of Tamil Eelam, labeling them traitors. He cannot himself compromise on the issue now.

Like other Tiger fighters, Prabhakaran wears a cyanide capsule around his neck. He claims he will swallow it in the event of capture.

It is said that he has instructed his bodyguards to douse him with petrol and burn him in the event of his death or imminent capture so that his Sinhalese enemies cannot desecrate his body. There is the possibility too of the LTTE chief leading Tamils trapped in the "no-fire zone" in a mass suicide.

It is not just the Sri Lankan armed forces that are keeping their eyes open for the Tiger chief. Neighbor India, which is separated by a narrow strip of water from Sri Lanka, has been watching developments on the island closely. Whether Prabhakaran is captured dead or alive is an issue with serious implications for India.

Tamil nationalists in the southern Indian state of Tamil Nadu have been agitating for months, calling on the Indian government to intervene more forcefully to halt the war in Sri Lanka. They are of the view that Delhi's support for Colombo is responsible for the military reverses of the LTTE and have warned that "rivers of blood will flow" in Tamil Nadu if any harm comes to Prabhakaran. If Prabhakaran were to die or be arrested and humiliated in any way, Tamil Nadu can be expected to explode.

Public support for Prabhakaran, which plunged after the 1991 assassination of former Indian prime minister Rajiv Gandhi, has since revived over the past year. The plight of civilians trapped in the fighting has triggered an outpouring of sympathy for Sri Lankan Tamils and to some extent the LTTE.

India is in the midst of general elections and there is concern in the ruling United Progressive Alliance that Prabhakaran's death or capture at this point will prove electorally disastrous for the Congress party and the Dravida Munetra Kazhagam, which have been walking the tightrope on the Sri Lankan issue.

But it is its impact beyond elections that India needs to worry about. Separatist sentiment in Tamil Nadu, which was contained in the 1960s, could get a fresh infusion of life.

Prabhakaran captured alive too is a headache for Delhi. The LTTE chief is wanted in India for his role in the assassination of Rajiv. The LTTE has been a banned organization in India since 1992. If Prabhakaran is captured alive, India would have to ask Sri Lanka for his extradition.

Prabhakaran in an Indian jail would only fuel Tamil secessionist sentiment in India. Therefore, say Indian officials, they would prefer Prabhakaran dead rather than captured, but dead by his own hands.

There was a time in the mid-1980s when the Indian government did not want Prabhakaran dead. They believed that the Sri Lankan government could be forced to provide a reasonable political solution only if Prabhakaran was alive. While that logic still holds good, Delhi recognizes that Prabhakaran is the main obstacle to Tamils seeking a negotiated settlement. It also feels that it can deal with a LTTE minus Prabhakaran, something it cannot do at present, given his wanted status in India.

Given the multiple problems that Prabhakaran - dead or alive - poses, it does seem India would prefer to see the LTTE chief escape to some faraway country.

Would Indian intelligence agencies help him get away? Indian intelligence officials rule out this option vehemently.

"But considering that Indian intelligence agencies had close links with the LTTE in the past, this cannot be completely ruled out," writes Seema Guha in the Daily News & Analyses, drawing attention to instances when the Indian Peace-Keeping Force in Sri Lanka had cornered Prabhakaran but had to let him go because the Research and Analysis Wing (RAW), India's external intelligence agency, was engaging the LTTE.

"Giving Prabhakaran an escape route will solve many a problem," she argues. "Prabhakaran will be out of harm's way and will be effectively reduced to a has-been. And he will be in no position to come and fight another day."

India extending a helping hand to Prabhakaran can be ruled out. Whatever its links with him in the past, the equation has changed completely now. "India would not want to bail out a person tagged with a terrorist label by several countries at a time when it is accusing Pakistan of sponsoring terrorists targeting India," a RAW official told Asia Times Online.

As for Prabhakaran, even if help were offered by India, he would be unlikely to accept it. His suspicion of India's intentions vis-a-vis the Tamil militancy and the LTTE has a long history. He has never trusted India, he is unlikely to leave his fate in India's hands now.

Should we worried about this 'swine flu' outbreak?

By M H Ahssan

What is a swine flu?
Like humans, pigs get the flu. They develop a sudden fever, a barking cough, sneezing, lethargy and typically lose their appetite.

Humans can catch a swine flu usually when people have direct contact with pigs; historically, there's such a case every year or two in the U.S.

What is this swine flu outbreak?
The virus responsible for this outbreak is a subtype of Influenza A/H1N1 that has never been detected in swine or humans.

The new virus appears to be made up of four different flu viruses: North American swine influenza; a swine influenza virus typically found in Asia and Europe; human influenza A; and a North American avian influenza. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control's Dr. Anne Schuchat calls it "an unusually mongrelized mix of genetic sequences."

What makes this new virus worrisome is how easily it appears to be able to pass from person to person. With cases popping up across the globe every day, how far this virus has already spread has yet to be fully assessed.

Why are we calling this outbreak 'swine flu'?
Technically, this influenza virus is no longer a swine flu. This new strain does not appear to be infecting pigs; it's infecting humans.

The CDC was the first to use the term "swine flu" to describe this virus after initial analysis suggested the virus had many of the characteristics of a wine flu. Further tests revealed it also contained genetic material from a human flu virus and avian flu virus.

How did this new strain develop?
No one yet knows. That investigation could took a long time and the answer might never be found.

Even though this new strain of influenza A H1N1 contains some elements of swine influenza virus, it may not have started in pigs. It could as well have been bred in birds or even another mammal.

Whatever the origin of the current outbreak, it is likely the "swine flu" name is going to stick.

Why is a new strain worrisome?
If an influenza virus changes and becomes a new strain against which people have little or no immunity -- and if this new strain can easily spread from person to person and cause severe illness in a high percentage of people that it infects -- the seeds would be sown for a pandemic that could sicken and kill many people around the world.

Epidemiologists have been warning for years that it's just a matter of time before a new strain of the flu emerges that has the potential to kill millions. Flu pandemics have historically occurred about three times per century and the world hasn't seen one in more than 40 years.

The World Health Organization estimates that in the best case scenario, the next pandemic could kill two to seven million people and send tens of millions to hospital.

Do we have a pandemic strain of influenza virus here?
We're not yet sure. It's clear the virus can spread easily from person to person. But its virulence is being debated.

The good news is that so far, the number of deaths from this virus is relatively low. In countries where the virus is just being found, such as Canada, it's causing such mild illness, it's running its course in two to three days, in some cases without treatment.

Is there a vaccine?
There is no vaccine as the genetic makeup of this virus is still being analyzed. The CDC has not announced that they're developing a vaccine. But if they do, it would likely take weeks if not months before it were widely available.

For swine influenzas that affect pigs, there is a vaccine available that can be given to pigs; there is no vaccine to protect humans from swine flu.

I got the flu shot this year. Am I protected?
Not likely. This is a virus that has never been seen before; therefore, vaccines for human flu would not provide adequate protection from the swine flu material contained in this virus. It may offer some protection though against the human flu genetic elements.

Can people catch swine flu from eating pork?
No. Swine influenza viruses are not transmitted by food; you cannot get swine influenza from eating pork or pork products.

What are the symptoms of swine flu in humans?
Symptoms of swine flu are similar to those of our regular flu, with sudden onset of:
- fever
- lethargy
- lack of appetite
- coughing

Some people with swine flu have also reported:
- runny nose
- sore throat
- nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.

How is the virus transmitted?
Human-to-human transmission of swine flu is believed to occur the same way as seasonal flu, mainly through coughing or sneezing of people infected with the influenza virus.

People also can become infected by touching something with flu viruses on it and then touching their mouth or nose.

How can I protect myself from this virus?
Since influenza spreads through spit and spray as well as contact with contaminated surfaces, the usual good personal hygiene habits are the best defence.

Wash your hands repeatedly through the day with soap and water or with alcohol-based hand sanitizers. Avoid touching you mouth, nose or eyes with your hands unless they've been washed. When coughing, cough into a tissue and throw it in the garbage. If you cough into your hand, wash your hands immediately. Sanitize surfaces that may have come into contact with the virus.

With human flu, the virus is most contagious between the second and third days after infection, but the virus is still contagious for about 10 days.

Can we treat swine flu in humans?
Yes. Most of the infections have been treated successfully, though there have been deaths in Mexico. In most cases, patients with this swine flu have recovered on their own. In those who have had to be hospitalized, this virus has been treated with antiviral medications.

The virus appears to be resistant to amantadine and rimantadine but has been susceptible to zanamivir and oseltamivir (Tamiflu).

Have there been swine flu outbreaks before?
Yes. Most famously, there was an outbreak in 1976 at Fort Dix, N.J., among military recruits that grabbed big headlines at the time.

Worried that they had the beginning of a pandemic on their hands, U.S. officials ordered the manufacture of swine flu vaccine and the country launched a mass immunization program that saw about 40 million people vaccinated.

But the outbreak didn't turn into a pandemic and went away as mysteriously as it appeared.