HUMOUR ON NEWS At a big celebrity event, INN Live asked various page-3 personalities a question that has bothered humanity since times immemorial: Why did the chicken cross the road? Each had his or her own take on the issue. Here’s a compilation of their replies.
ACP Pradyuman version:
Dekh rahe ho Abhijit? Pehle chicken road ke iss taraf thi aur baad mein uss taraf aa gayi. Iska matlab ye hai ki chicken ne road cross kiya.
Arundhati Roy version:
The raison d’etre of the chicken was to act as a prurient corroboration of the majority group’s hyper-nationalistic vanity. My heart would bleed if I behold the chicken gyrating to transcend all boundaries to be with people who treat it as one of their own.
NDTV version:
Breaking: Modi spreads fear in animal kingdom; chicken abandon this side of the road.
CNN-IBN version:
Song for the night: Aao sikhaon tumhe Sardesai ka funda, Ande se aayi murgi, ya murgi se anda. Gnite.
Tarun Tejpal version:
The chicken recused himself from this side and did the penance which lacerated it. Also Tehelka is a great institution.
Sagarika Ghose version:
Is the chicken’s movement across the road being given unnecessary media hype? Watch Face The Nation Tonight.
Barkha Dutt version:
(with a pained expression) When will the day come in India when a lady chicken will be able to cross the road without its motives being questioned!
Aranab Goswami version:
Never ever ever ever question the chicken on its movement.
Ekta Kapoor version:
The chicken was assumed dead on this side of the road, but had actually crossed it. It then underwent a plastic surgery and returned after 20 years.
Karan Johar version:
The chicken was involved in a love triangle on this side of the road. After singing some songs, it decided to sacrifice its love and move to the other side. But the chicken’s love also crossed over and they lived happily ever after, singing more songs.
Manmohan Desai version:
The chicken was given a locket and then in a chase sequence, accidently crossed the road leaving its twin sibling on this side. After many years, it reunited with its sibling in the middle of the road in dramatic circumstances.
Ram Gopal Verma version:
The chicken’s movement across the road was shown in weird camera angles in minimal light. No one understood what happened next but a sequel is being prepared to show its coming back to this side.
Chetan Bhagat version:
The chicken had some great ambitions but had to make some sacrifices along the way, which even resulted in the chicken getting to have sex, before it crossed the road. In the end, there was divine/friendly/self-ego intervention and the chicken came back.
Dan Brown version:
When the chicken crossed the road, it found evidence of resurgence of a forgotten and cult sect of chickens. The chicken follows a millennium old trail through various monuments and manuscripts before finding its way back on this side.
Anu Malik version:
Woh Chicken khud hai apne mann ka boss.
Woh Chicken khud hai apne mann ka boss.
Ab kya farak parta hai agar usne kar liya road cross.
Ramsey Brothers version:
The chicken crossed the road on a full-moon night amidst creepy music. But the same chicken can be seen on this side of the road on every full-moon night. Shudder.
Pritam version:
A foreigner chicken crossed the road first. The chicken in question just followed it across the road in an identical manner.
India TV version:
Murgi ne tyaga road ko. Kya ye duniya ka anth hai?
Rakhi Sawant version:
Oh Jejus! The chicken is getting so much media footage. I could have accompanied it across the road.
KRK (Kamal R Khan) version:
It was a 2 rupees chicken. I will not waste my time discussing this.
Shahid Kapoor version:
How can the kitchen cross the road?
Shah Rukh Khan version:
Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chicken.. (by this time the chicken had already crossed the road)
Shobha De version:
So many ‘chicks’ would agree to cross the road to get a chance to be with the RBI chief.
Times of India version:
Watch exclusive pics of the chicken crossing the road wearing a stunning two-piece.
(Disclaimer: No chicken were hurt in the compiling of this post.)
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