SATIRE After a lot of commotion overnight, the animals of Manor Farm decided to hold an impromptu court to resolve the matter that had eaten up an unnecessary amount of TV time in the past few days. A dozen lazy kangaroos on the farm, who had their pouches full of peanuts to nibble on unstoppably, were unanimously appointed the juries. A smelly boar who took a great fancy to the gavel promptly hopped into the judge's chair and was not opposed by any.
The court was set, the petitioners, a group of seven runaway VIP buffaloes who did not belong to the farm, were presented before the judge and juries.
'Grunt, grunt,' shuffled the judge on a dais to let proceedings begin.
'Milord, these foreign breed runaway buffaloes have squatted on our pristine farm. And their owner happens to be a cranky minister who has launched a 'lest you die' search operation by the state police covered widely by the media,' cawed the raven playing public prosecutor.
'Let us hear from the buffaloes first,' grunted the boar playfully striking the gavel on its enormous pout.
Buffaloes moo in a chorus: 'We have done nothing wrong. Taking a cue from our owner's recent study tour, we just ventured on one of our own. Now because our owner was hunted by cameramen all along his tour, he is taking his revenge on us by spoiling our fun.'
Raven the prosecutor: 'Milord, they are half right. It's true, cameramen hunted their owner all through his recent study tour. The hunt for a closer shot went so bad that one cameramen broke the poor man's nose when he ran into the minister along with his camera. But that he is revengeful and that these buffaloes are on a study tour are both doubtful things.'
Boar the judge: 'Buffaloes, what do you have to moo now?'
VIP buffaloes: 'He is cranky. Wherever he goes, he has problem with people, countries, officials, media persons and what not. He goes to US, he feels insulted. Even at the airport in Delhi, he feels discriminated. He had fought and fallen out with his own political masters earlier. And recently, seven personal staffers of the minister refused to work with him, alleging that he routinely abused them. See, we are the only ones to grudge his company and leave him finally.'
Raven: 'And what is your study tour all about?'
Buffaloes: 'Milord, 17 ministers and MLAs went on an 18-day 'study tour' of the UK, Turkey, the Netherlands, Greece and the UAE early this year. They visited Istanbul, London, The Hague, Amsterdam, Greece and the UAE at the expense of the state exchequer. The state government spent over Rs.1 crore on the junket. Who studied what? When you have the answer, come to us we will give you ours. Simple.'
Boar the judge: 'Your minister is moving heaven and hell to find you all. Led by a Superintendent of Police, the cops across the district have spread out in a massive buffalo hunt. They have combed fields and taken sniffer dogs along to track the animals. The distraught minister reportedly had CCTV footage of slaughterhouses scanned. You have to go back to him. That's all.'
The kangaroos have finished their peanuts. They rise, so does the boar. The court is adjourned.
(Disclaimer: Only pun and no harm is intended in this satire. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to anybody in politics in merely coincidental.)
No comments:
Post a Comment