Friday, July 29, 2016

Satire: Mumbai Policeman Inspecting Zakir Naik Videos Becomes Radicalized


A policeman from the city who was given the task of inspecting Zakir Naik videos has ended up getting radicalized, as per the reports from NIA.

National Investigation Agency (NIA) has reportedly nabbed Shivaram Dhokle, a 27-year old policeman outside the airport today morning. Expressing his shock to the media, NIA chief said, “This must be the most shocking news that I had to share with you. The person who has been nabbed today by us is actually, a policemen from Mumbai.
We were monitoring the policeman soon after he was trying to initiate contact with ISIS handlers in both India and abroad. We did not expect a policeman to end up as a terrorist trying to go join IS. We will thoroughly investigate him.”

Other policemen from the city were in a total shock when they received this news. Anil Athawale, a close friend of Shivaram said, “As a policeman who had been working with Shivaram for past three years, I can vouch that he was arrested for some other reasons. He always used to hate terrorists. How can he end up joining the terrorists in Syria?”

Few hours later, A top investigative officer, who had interrogated Shivaram, spoke to us via phone. He said, “Shivaram has been radicalized very recently. We can confirm that he has not left Syria on a secret IB ops or anything of that sorts. It is now clear that he had left India to join IS and fight for them. He has also confessed that watching Zakir Naik videos made him follow the right path and that was the main reason he had taken this drastic step. As per police reports, Shivaram had been given the duty of inspecting Zakir Naik video and he seemed to have got radicalized after watching 120 hours of those videos. It is really an irony that a policeman inspecting Zakir Naik has turned into a terrorist.”

“High time, Indian Government bans Naik. Also, if someone has to interrogate him, that person must already be a terrorist or at least a sleeper cell. A snake cannot die of its own venom, you see!”, said a top CBI officer, upon hearing the revelations from the investigating team.

Meanwhile, Shivaram’s wife also sounds affirmative about the direction of investigation. “Shiva had always been so kind and family always came first for him. But since last week, he never came home. He even switched off his mobile saying that he is in middle of some major work. Two days back, he came home and was making calls, packing clothes. I asked him of the reason, he just said that he is going outside India for some greater duties.”

Mumbai Police is now destroying all the CDs of Zakir Niak’s videos that they had, to avoid radicalizing anyone else in the force.

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