Friday, June 26, 2015

Satire: Indian Political Parties Request Lalit Modi To Stop Naming More Politicians On Humanitarian Grounds

While the Lalit Modi controversy has stretched beyond it’s ‘sell by’ date and has lost its shock value, Lalit Modi continues to be in extended power play mode and is showing no signs of cooling down. Day after day he is coming up with new names and proving acquaintance with big shots.

Wary of getting named in his tweets, a group of politicians, bureaucrats, industrialists and journalists have written to Lalit Modi appealing him not to mention their name on humanitarian grounds. Since the issue started when Sushma ji helped you on ‘Humanitarian’ grounds, it would be appropriate if you also consider our situations on same grounds, the group has allegedly pleaded to former IPL chief.

A veteran Congress leader told this reporter, “Every day when I wake up, I first check his tweets to ensure that he has not named me yet. We somehow managed to see through Modi wave in 2014, now there is another Modi wave!!! Earlier we used to ask, where is Modi wave? Now we are wondering how many more Modi waves are there to come. There is an atmosphere of constant fear in this country. If this is not emergency that what is an Emergency?”

Meanwhile the news channels are fed up of holding the debate centered on Lalit Modi for more than 2 weeks and are looking for a change in topic. Nidhi Razdan from NDTV tried being creative with news headlines, like she always is, “Even 68 years after independence someone sitting in UK continues to call the shots. Is this the India PM Modi promised?”

Even the Congress which was in celebration mode during earlier findings has suddenly lost interest after Lalit Modi enveloped Gandhis in the tweets. Sources tell that Mrs Gandhi has gone abroad to convince Lalit Modi to keep quiet. “On one hand we have a PM who goes abroad every other day amid lot of chest thumping, media coverage and PR, the ever so humble Gandhis slip out quietly without any show off. I have to rely on Subramanian Swami’s tweets to know when madam is going abroad,” said Sanjay Jha.

“While PM’s foreign trips are yet to yield any visible result on grounds, Mrs. Gandhi’s visit will bring the much-needed peace in the country immediately,” Sanjay Jha concluded giving a virtual Hi-Five to Manish Tewari.

Times Now which claims to have broken this story is also finding it impossible to move to other topics without putting this to a logical end. “Ye Lalit Modi wala issue Arnab ke gale ki haddi ban gaya hai, na nigal pa rahe hain na ugal pa rahe hain”, a junior staff explained Arnab’s situation. “After banging his head on Times Now studio begging for Sushma Swaraj’s resignations, Arnab Goswami realized that he has to shift the goal post. He gradually moved to Vasundhara Raje and later Pankaja Munde. At present he is so desperate that he will even accept resignation of security guards of Times Now studio so that he can put up hashtag #TimesNowImpact.”

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