Wednesday, July 31, 2013

UPA Unveils 'Telangana Express' Ahead Of Elections 2014

By Paagal Patrkaar / Delhi

UPA government, headed by the Congress party, today approved formation of a new state – Telangana – to be carved out of existing Andhra Pradesh. Will it help in the journey to Delhi?

While it may take at least six months before a new Telangana state gets functional, concerned stakeholders have already started preparations.

Political parties are not the only one calculating new equations and redistribution of power, even the dark corridors of betting and other illegal activities is buzzing with gossips of possible new area chiefs.

“There would be new Ministers, new IAS officers holding new offices, new local police heads once a new state is formed, we’ve to be ready for it,” Tilu Johnny, a cricket bookie told Faking News, “We will also need new people who coordinate with these new power centers and give them their ‘commissions’, hence we are also reorganizing ourselves.”
“We will have two separate wings now, one for each state,” Tilu explained how the new state will affect his business.

“I will be the head of the Telangana wing,” Tilu informed with a smile as we congratulated him on his new post.

Even state level pickpocket rackets are also reshuffling their top order. A formal cadre division will take place and members native of Telangana area will be posted only in Telangana.

“Now our business will be spread across two states. It gives us a feeling that we are a part of some big organization,” said Raju, team leader of a pickpocket group operating in the Hyderabad region.

“These things are very important, as after border will be drawn even the political masters will change. These steps will benefit business on whole as local guys will be having a better tuning with local politicians,” claimed an illegal business analyst.

If sources are to be believed these illegal outfits are even planning for a breakup party.

“We don’t want to separate with any grudge in our heart,” said an excited member of a chain-snatching gang, “This cadre division process is happening quite peacefully without any ugly fight. We are more mature than our politicians.”