Exclusive: Al-Qaeda’s India 'Recruitment Advertisement'

NEWS IN FUN: INNLIVE sources has accessed a copy of recruitment ad which Al-Qaeda’s newly opened India branch is going to use for fresh hiring:

AL-QAEDA INDIA IS HIRING!
Business Development Manager- Al Qaeda (Pan India)

About The Organization
Al Qaeda is the market leader in the field of global terrorism for nearly 25 years. After starting out in a small village in Afghanistan, today the company has offices in 13 countries and a virtual office in nearly 100 locations. Despite stiff competition, Al Qaeda has remained the favorite destination for budding terrorists from all parts of the world thanks to our focus and commitment to our ideology. For those who are looking for a stimulating and satisfying environment and are ambitious and ready for challenges, Al Qaeda is the place to be.

Job Description
-  Develop the assigned market including hiring and training the new recruits.
-  Scope the assigned market and identify locations for Al Qaeda operations.
-  Develop relationships with local terrorists and explore possibilities of mergers and acquisitions.
-  Attend Idea Of India summits on company’s behalf.
-  Oversee all projects taking care of finance, logistics, and execution of a terror attack.

Desired Candidate Profile
-  Chemical engineers with hands on experience of working with explosives preferred. Though its not a must, we provide great training facilities.
-  Should be able to handle a knife.
-  Good throwing arm to lob grenades. Cricket background preferable.
-  Should be able to grow a beard. Tiger Shroff types, please excuse.
-  Open to any location across Indian sub-continent

Remuneration & Facilities
-  Free boarding & lodging provided with 3 meals a day.
-  3 porn movies per day to each employee. US commandos didn’t get all of our stash.
-  72 virgins in Jannat after your permanent retirement.
- One month long all paid Europe holiday package before going for a suicide attack.

Interested candidates should apply by sending a copy of their resume to our HR managers who are available at india.hr@alqaeda.world or admin-space@jannat.world

How Modi turned Teachers' Day into a giant PR blunder?

You can telecast a speech to a child, but you can't force him to listen. Or can you? Some schools in Delhi are certainly doing their best by making Narendra Modi's Teachers' Day speech part of their standard class exams.

Bal Bharati Public School, Noida, has issued a circular -- shared extensively and with great amusement on Twitter -- which read, “The school will remain closed (preparatory off) on September 5 for all classes. However, for classes III to XII, the key points of the Prime Minister’s address are to be noted and learnt for the school to evaluate the same (during the upcoming examination from Monday).” One question of two marks each will be included in each of the five main papers, it added.

Stevia, the leafy green sweetener for diabetics

EXCLUSIVE: Stevia, may be touted as a healthy herbal alternative sweetener to sugar for treatment of many ailments but as per law it cannot be used or sold as additive in food products. 

In fact, those selling it in any form that is meant for consumption are violating the law, said VN Gaur, chairperson of the Food Safety Standards Authority of India (FSSAI). There have been many complaints that some unapproved food items, ingredients, food additives etc. are being used in preparation of food products or being sold as such. 

Ebola in India: Suspected patient drives students out of hostel in West Bengal

Even if there have been no confirmed cases of Ebola in the country yet, the Ebola-related hysteria has arrived in the country. Hundreds of students of the Raiganj Polytechnic in West Bengal vacated their college hostel after a suspected Ebola patient was admitted in the Raiganj District Hospital next door.

Alip Das who returned from Liberia on August 25, tested positive for malaria, and his Ebola test report is still awaited. A student told: ‘We are not taking a chance. We will return to the hostel once it is confirmed that the person is not infected with Ebola.’ Debashis Mandal, the Deputy Chief Medical Officer of Health said: ‘His blood test confirms malaria and treatment is on. He is responding well. But we are not taking any risk. We are waiting for the report of his blood sample sent to Pune.’

'Bigg Boss 8': Salman Khan Show to Feature 'Couples' Only?

"Bigg Boss" always feeds off couple controversies to achieve higher TRP ratings. This trick has worked quite well for the makers of the show so far.

From Kushal Tandon-Gauhar Khan and Armaan Kohli-Tanishaa Mukherjee to Ashmit Patel-Veena Malik, the controversial reality show has given the world the juiciest of gossips. And now, according to reports, "Bigg Boss 8" will feature only couples.

Hindu Raksha Dal demands ban on hidden sale of beef

A Hindu outfit today submitted a memorandum to the district administration, demanding ban on surreptitious packaging and export of beef at various meat packaging units in the district.

Hindu Raksha Dal national convenor Bhupender Tomar alias Pinky Chaudhary along with members of the outfit submitted a signed memorandum to Atul Yadav, Deputy Superintendent of Police, Indirapuram, here.

Ravi Shastri: The man who changed India's fortunes in England!

SPECIAL REPORT: Days after Suresh Raina hailed Ravi Shastri's role as Team Director, Indian batsman Shikhar Dhawan has said that the former captain instilled confidence in the side after the Test debacle.

Relieved after coming good with the bat following a string of poor scores in the Test series and then in the second and third ODIs, Dhawan thanked the support staff of the team and singled out Shastri for giving the team confidence.

BSF jawans made to sleep on floor in mosquito-infested Mumbai school

The Mumbai police, which had called in two Border Security Force (BSF) companies from Gujarat to help with the Ganeshotsav bandobast, especially at the Lalbaugcha Raja, is allegedly forcing its guests to live in rather shabby conditions.

The 200-odd jawans, who are expected to stay alert throughout their long duty hours to ensure the safety of devotees, are having trouble sleeping every night as the BMC municipal school in Parel, where they have been accommodated, is teeming with mosquitoes. Rainwater also seeps into the halls where they sleep.