After college, school, office and social ragging now, it's turn to 'Marriage Ragging', a new trend in Kerala making waves of new fashion and social contracts. Spreading towards all south of India and more likely to entry our capital Delhi and NCR soon as most south Indian are either working or doing business.
It has unified political parties in Kerala’s Malabar region, but to no effect. Newlywed couples continue to suffer humiliating pranks played by friends of the groom.
In the Kannur district of Kerala, people take their politics very seriously. Political rivalry often leads to brutal violence and bloodshed. There are ‘party’ villages, where a single group—say, the Communist Party of India-Marxist (CPM) or Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh—often commands the allegiance of the entire population. Marriages among families supporting rival parties are almost unheard of. But recently, something odd happened. Leaders of all parties in Kannur managed to set aside their differences and come together over an issue.
Marriage ragging can take many forms. Some of the popular ones include mixing alcohol in juice offered to the couple, bursting crackers in front of the bridegroom’s house, and plucking the hooks of window panes in the couple’s bedroom. “Many incidents have led to serious fights. It has crossed all limits,” says Mukundan Madathil, a local CPM leader who took a leading role in uniting all parties against marriage ragging.
The practice started in Kannur but has now spread to neighbouring districts like Kozhikodu, Kasargod, Malappuram and Thrissur. A few weeks ago, in Thrissur’s Akaladu village, the ragging ended up in a police lathi-charge and immediate divorce. Remya, the bride, had bowed her head to tie the wedding knot, and was shocked to find one of the groom’s friends trying to garland her instead. The bride’s immediate family and other relatives were furious. The bonafide groom finally got to tie the mangalsutra around her neck, but none of her relatives was ready to pardon the insult, as they saw it. It turned into an all-out brawl between the groom’s friends and the bride’s relatives. Someone rang up the police, who came and lathi-charged the crowd to bring about some discipline. Remya backed out of the marriage, announcing that she did not want to share her life with a man who could not stop his friends from spoiling the most precious moment of her life. She was granted an instant divorce by a settlement forged at the police station.
Some pranks are elaborately staged. In Azhiyur village in Kozhikkodu district, the newlyweds were on their way back from the groom’s residence after the ceremony when their car was blocked and they were ordered to walk home. Suddenly, a pregnant woman in a shabby costume jumped into the middle of the procession, accusing the groom of fathering her unborn baby. The bride fainted and had to be rushed to hospital. The ‘pregnant woman’, meanwhile, pulled out a cushion from under her garments—it was a man playing a practical joke. “The guy who turned up disguised as the pregnant woman was heavily drunk,” says Aneesh, a native of Azhiyoor and a local newspaper correspondent who interviewed the man later, “He told me he was taking revenge on the groom, who had played a prank on the day of his brother’s marriage. That is the fundamental problem. Neither the groom nor his family can say anything about ragging because they might’ve done it too.”
“Liquor is the main reason behind this menace,” says Sajeev Maroli, vice-president of the Kannur district Congress Committee. The CPM’s Madathil agrees: “In all incidents, the youngsters indulging in hooliganism were heavily drunk. They feel no remorse in spoiling such a precious moment of someone’s life.”
Elders in Kannur recollect that such practices have been around for a couple of decades. But they used to be harmless once, intended largely as stress relievers for the bride and groom. “We used to sing funny songs just to make the couple relax. But it never crossed its limits,” says 47-year-old businessman T Manoharan, who mobilises people against ragging.
In the past couple of years, all political parties in Kannur have regularly been organising joint meetings and rallies against the menace. While the CPM’s youth wing DYFI is also part of the effort, such initiatives typically see little participation from the youth. “It’s nothing but fun, we all enjoy it,” says one youngster, a leader of sorts of marriage pranksters. According to him, Kannur’s elders are blowing the issue out of proportion, taking an unduly serious view of what’s little more than a spot of fun. On being asked whether he spares a thought for the bride’s feelings, he bluntly says he couldn’t be bothered.
Such ragging is especially traumatic to the bride. Last year, in a village near the town of Mahi, a girl lost her right ear’s hearing after firecrackers burst unexpectedly in close range. It took six to seven months of treatment for her hearing to recover. “It was almost like a bomb explosion,” says Dinesh S, a Mahi resident who witnessed the incident, “They must have used huge fire crackers. These burst just outside the bedroom on their first night. The girl fainted, and when she woke up, she was utterly traumatised. She had to be rushed to hospital.”
In another incident, in Pinarayi village, a bride started showing signs of depression a few days after she fell victim to the usual pranks of firecrackers and humiliating songs. She was taken to a psychologist, who suggested regular counselling. The groom’s family charged that she might have had depression even before the marriage. It ended up in divorce.
Though Kannur district is a stronghold of the CPM, its leaders say they are unable to curb the practice. “The party is not in a position to take strong action against its members who engage in such activities,” says a local CPM leader, “The party is scared of losing people if it takes any stringent action.”
