Anger Management in Women

Anger is a natural emotion, just like so many of the other emotions that you go through in your day-to-day life. It is in fact a natural response to certain perceived threats that you may come across while dealing with situations. It can happen anywhere, at anytime. You may get into a yelling contest with a stranger at a traffic jam or you may get into a wordy dual with a petrol pump attendant. It could be a nasty screaming match with your spouse or a cold, seething rage with your “insolent” colleague.
The problem with anger Anger in itself is not a problem. Experts in the field of anger management agree on this. The real problem is how you handle your anger. Screaming or hurling missiles at your spouse, smashing crockery or slamming down the phone on your colleague is not anger management at its best.
It only means your anger is getting the better of you. Instead of expressing your anger in a healthy and assertive way, you may be expressing it in an unfriendly, aggressive manner—a manner that could quite possibly lead to violent behavior and a cascade of personal and professional consequences.
Handling anger Before anger begins handling you and you begin to manhandle someone, it is better to learn to manage anger in a healthy way. Here are a few tips that can be useful: Analyze why you are angry: Reading this you may think, “If I could stand there, analyzing my anger, why would I be angry at all?” And that is exactly the point. When you try to analyze the reason for your anger, this analysis occupies mind space and you will soon see your anger evaporate—because you cannot think two things at the same time. See? Analyze what makes you angry: Fortunately, in this case, you have more time. For example, imagine you have a neighbor, whose dog barks you out of your siesta. You wake up fuming wanting to wring the neck of that stupid dog and maybe that of your neighbor’s as well. But wait! A dog is a dog and dogs bark. You cannot keep it quiet for long, despite the best of training or threats. Under the circumstances, it is better that you behave like a human and let the beast be. So, the next time the dog barks, you will be prepared for it and calm will prevail. You will also be surprised when you find yourself getting used to the constant barking so much so, it may require a foghorn to wake you up the next time. Analyze where you get angry: Anger does not happen on its own. It is more of a learned behavior. We were not born angry. There are certain triggers that can set you off and you may find yourself erupting into a human volcano. Differences at home or work could be simmering inside you. It becomes quite a problem when your fuse is lit at home and you explode when you reach office. Or you could have had a bad day with your “tyrannical” boss and wanting to box his nose in, you end up landing a punch on your spouse’s face upon reaching home. Both situations can be catastrophic. If you are angry at home, leave your anger there before you leave to office and vice versa. Express anger constructively: Sounds a little paradoxical—but it is in fact logical. Anger management does not mean you do not get angry and allow people to walk all over you. It is okay to get angry—being angry is not a bad or negative thing. While it is appropriate to keep your cool on occasions, trying to be a saint will not get you anywhere. Expressing yourself in an assertive, non-aggressive manner is the healthiest approach to handling anger. Managing anger effectively can benefit you and those around you. Your health may improve, you will feel better about yourself, and strained relationships can be repaired when you control your anger.
Anger and health Anger can have a negative impact on your overall health—physical, emotional and psychological. Getting angry often or aggressive expression of anger can be harmful. Pent up anger can affect you too. Some of the most common health problems associated with destructive anger are:
headaches, sleeplessness, high blood pressure, eating difficulties, digestive problems, stress and stress-related problems, deep sadness, if your reason for getting angry is not adequately addressed and uncontrolled anger can sometimes lead to a heart attack in people with heart problem
Finally Uncontrolled anger has its side effects—and it may not be too pleasant. You may have your share of woes just as many people do—unpaid bills, traffic jams, work pressure, conflicts with colleagues, strained spouse relationship, anxiety about the future—modern society is full of stress. But that does not mean you pick up a baseball bat and run berserk bumping people on their head. It also does not mean that you behave like a sage even when people trample on you. Be positive—positive people do not get put down. Neither do they put others down. Be assertive without getting aggressive. Be polite, but firm. And hook your anger onto the hanger.