IS CYBER VOYEURISM CHEATING?

By M H AHSAN

No two people in the world can agree on every issue all the time. This simple truth applies to married couples too. Even the so-called ideal couples have their differences. Of course they don't pick up a fight every time they have an argument - most of them try to respect (or tolerate) each other's contradictory views. That's life! But then there are things that can be difficult to digest even if one tries their best to be accommodating.

Varsha has been going through a crisis in her life right now. Lets read on... She has been married to Hemanth for more than eighteen years. Their son is now in college, and both husband and wife are healthy and quite good looking. Of course the advancing age does take its toll on the human body. Varsha has put on a little extra weight and Hemanth is suffering from what is called borderline diabetes.

Apart from this, everything seemed normal, until the day Hemanth came across a porn site on his personal computer. The family had owned a desktop computer for the last seven years. The previous year Hemanth had gifted his son with a laptop, and the PC got relegated to a corner of the couple's bedroom. While Varsha didn't much care for it, Hemanth enjoyed surfing whenever he found the time.

Then one day, Hemanth, by sheer accident hit on a porn site. Once the initial shock wore off, he couldn't resist spending some time on that tantalising site, and so the addiction began. Hemanth's old and the innocent PC spat out lots of explicit but tempting stuff that day. The man was spellbound. Varsha happened to walk in, saw what her husband was watching, and laughed aloud. She shook her head, murmured something like 'boys will be boys' and went to sleep. By morning she had almost forgotten about it, but evidently, Hemanth had not.

That evening, after finishing dinner, while Varsha watched her favourite TV show, Hemanth was once again in front of his PC, touring the virtual world of forbidden pleasures. This time however, Varsha was not amused. "I don't like this and I definitely hope you are not getting addicted to this stuff," she grumbled. Hemanth turned off his PC but switched it on after a few days to visit other more explicit sites.

This time, he tried to hide it from his wife, but Varsha was quick to catch up. She protested rather forcefully this time. Of course she didn't know what to say when Hemanth questioned her, "What is wrong if once in a while I entertain myself just watching this stuff? It is not that I am cheating on you." Now for something more personal from their lives. Although Hemanth and Varsha are happily married and care deeply for each other, their present sex life is not what it used to be. Of course most marriages reach this phase after a certain period. While love for each other may remain, and the physical relation continues, the physical attraction tends to fade. Varsha and Hemanth have reached this stage of their marital life.

Other factors like Hemanth's age and diabetes somewhat affected his performance in bed while Varsha, due to other reasons lost interest in her sex life. Weeks pass, without any physical intimacy. And even when it happens, both are aware of the absence of the spark that existed. Now this is not to say that Hemanth must have turned to virtual sex out of frustration, but when he tumbled into this new world, he did feel a new kind of excitement entering his routine life. Coincidently during those days he came across an article written by a well-known psychiatrist and sexologist in a reputed newspaper. Acccording to the doctor, reading or watching erotic material could help in enhancing the couple's sex life.

Armed with the expert's opinion, Hemanth tried to convince, or rather convert his wife. Once he even tried to make Varsha watch something kinky on the net. Varsha saw a little but didn't enjoy it. For her, it was voyeurism at its worst. And she was positively repulsed when Hemanth one night tried to do something new in bed. What was innovative for Hemanth was dirty for Varsha. Naturally, each side had lots to complain about. Months have passed, but they still complain on this issue. Hemanth avoids visiting those sites when Varsha is around, but when she is not watching; he finds the urge irresistible.

Varsha knows this. It is her firm belief that, porn sites are for perverts only and sexual experiments should not cross certain limits even between husband and wife. She also feels that by drooling over those super sexy women's images, Hemanth is passing a subtle message that he no longer finds his wife desirable.

Why, she never looks at naked males on the net, cause she loves her husband. Once when Varsha was very upset, she told her family physician about this. The lady doctor just laughed and advised her to be cool about it. According to her, sooner or later, this phase in Hemanth's life would pass, and he would lose interest in those silicone net beauties and their sexual acrobats. Varsha is not very sure about this. She thinks this kind of interest is addictive and it would only make matters worse between them.