Don't Rush To Be A Blushing Bride

By Annie Sadaf

Tying the knot too early in life might tie you up in knots! Here's why...

Many a man marries his first love... this saying seems to assume that a man's first love comes along fairly early in his life. Well - what's the second half of this story? Do such marriages last?

While it wouldn't be fair to generalize, it isn't advisable for a man nor a woman to rush into marriage. Here's why -

Why would you want to marry young?
Tanya and Suresh fell in love while pursuing a post-graduate course. Theirs was a heady University relationship that fed on the carefree life on the campus, heated discussions on idealistic living and passionate romance.

The very much in love couple decided to tie the knot two months after completing their course. Tanya had been placed in a good company, while Suresh had drawn up business plans for a new venture.

But barely eighteen months later, their marriage fell apart! Tanya was being transferred out to another city, while Suresh's fledgling business had only just started breaking even. Suresh was committed to making a go of his business - that was his number one priority.

Tanya, however, had realized that life in the 'real world' was much different than what she had expected. Hence, her aspirations changed and she found herself wanting different things out of life as compared to Suresh. In other words, the shared goals that formed the bedrock of their togetherness were no more.

Do you know what you want?
Divorced by age 25, Tanya says "It would have been much better if I had not rushed into marriage. Real life is uncertain, while most students lead such a sheltered secure life on a campus. I would strongly advise young lovers straight out of college/University to get on with life and only think of tying the knot if they feel the same a few years later. Waiting hurts nobody! So why saddle yourself with responsibilities so early in life?"

Hindsight is 20-20, as they say!
The bottom line is that personality only develops as you age and experience life in the real world. So you can never be certain that what you want out of life when you are a student will hold true five years down the line.

Stand on your own feet
The sad part is that some people marry early, before their individuality is fully expressed. Since most marriages as it is cause a small (or large) loss of individuality in adjustments, such unfortunates lose themselves even before they know themselves. Then if the other partner is domineering or willing to take advantage of their confused state, their life passes by without them ever knowing what they want.

Fact is - getting hitched too early can stifle your development. This situation is only compounded if by marrying early, a woman compromises her educational pursuits. Given the economic uncertainties of our age, every young man and woman should be well-educated and financially independent before they tie the knot.

Don't rush into a marriage thinking that shared expenses translate into more savings. If you need help making ends meet, get a room-mate, not a husband or wife!

Who is your Mr. Right?
"I met my husband at 28. By then, I had a clear understanding of who I was looking for. He fit the bill perfectly," shares Meenu who met her husband just before she turned 30.

It's not only what you want out of life but you are also more likely to be certain of the qualities that you desire in your husband as you grow, interact with more people of the opposite gender and learn about various perspectives to life.

Don't succumb to peer pressure
It is true that most kids grow up succumbing to peer pressure at some point or the other. But choosing to get married simply because your best friend is doing so, straight out of college, is the worst decision you could ever make! Marriage is by no means a walk in the park! It calls for serious effort from both partners. Ensure you are getting married for the right reason, not just the honeymoon!